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Laughter thread

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Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:13 pm

First topic message reminder :

I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean: Laughing

First joke:

Silly Warnings put on products part 1

As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies

for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face

Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? Shocked If that's happening I'm quite shocked!

Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!

Part 2:

I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel

the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.

So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?

me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!

here's the second one: Never use while sleeping. Sleep

Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face. Suspect





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weather Reporters Joke


Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! Shocked and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Search Engine

I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:

How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time? confused confused confused
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys? confused confused confused confused
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire? confused confused confused
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip??? confused confused confused cat

It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:

Christmas santa vs Halloween

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably the silliest product ever invented:

Tooth Tunes
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It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rendeer Two Events I believe are Too Close Together

Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:

We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?

Rudolph poem for hunters:

Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?

If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.

I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people! santa


(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)

(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)

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Last edited by midangerous on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:07 pm; edited 9 times in total
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:23 pm

@Admin LOL!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:23 pm

U still have to look both ways while crossing the street.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:31 pm

Good reminder midangerous! AND you have to be prepared to jump way up over the hood to be cushioned by that ridiculous puffy pillow that comes out from under the windshield if a volvo hits you! (wow)

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Mar 07, 2013 5:27 pm

Yep we gotta make sure to reach that salvation marshmallow in the front lol!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Thu Mar 07, 2013 5:34 pm

ROTFL Good one Midangerous!! LOL

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sun Mar 10, 2013 8:37 pm

lmao admin thats funny!!!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:01 pm

Just saw on 'The Chew' that manufacturer's have decided that it's a good idea to produce bacon scented and flavored items such as:
lip balm
mints
perfumes
eww
lol

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:25 pm

I wouldn't want my breath to smell like bacon.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:04 pm

gross whats up with bacon? everyone seems to be OBSESSED with it? so whats up?lol
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:51 pm

LOL! Cute

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:40 pm

Doggie Aftershave

I had a dog once that was so smelly we tried everything to get him to smell good, so we went to the extreme, and decided to use some of Dad's aftershave on him. It seemed to work for a while, he smelled like he had just finished shaving with Dad.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:26 pm

I love the gif!

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:53 pm

LOL! Yeah.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Mar 23, 2013 5:40 pm

Thank God for the Dollar Store by Tim Hawkins

well i never really had a lot of money in the bank
its hard to pay the mortgage and fill the gas tank
that's why i want to take a little time to thank
thank God for the dollar store

if you want to buy cheep stuff your in luck
fill up the cart and go dump it in the truck
its the place that you go if you only gotta buck
thank God for the dollar store

well i got baby wipes and got a baby rattle
some gum and a kite and a pingpong paddle
S.O.S. pads and a box of fiddle faddle!.....
thank God for the dollar store!
Yeah!

you can buy shampoo and cheap blue jeans, peanut butter crackers and a can of beans! you can feed a whole family for not a lotta green..
thank God for the dollar store!

you can buy a rake or a garden gnome, dog food, fingernail polish and a comb,
and the toys always break by the time ya get 'em home, Thank God for the dollar store!

well i got me a knife and some popcicles, ring for the wife and a big jar of pickles, you'd be amazed what ya get for 20 nickles... Thank God for the dollar store

said you'd be amazed what you get for 20 nickles!.... WHOOO HOO!!!
THANK YOU GOD FOR THE DOLLAR STORE!!! YEA!!


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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Capricious Anomaly on Sat Mar 23, 2013 5:49 pm

That is hilarious (and so true) midangerous you can find the funniest stuff! I needed a good chuckle today!


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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:40 pm

I used to be a $dollar store$ shopper Capricious, so I can really relate to the song. LOL!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sat Mar 23, 2013 8:08 pm

lol midangerous!!! i shop for christmas presents for my family at the dollar store! *SHHHHHHH don't tell my family*
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:57 pm

LOL! I won't.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:04 pm

This is for all the twinkie lovers:



Twinkie in a ding dong world, by Tim Hawkins:

you should take me seriously
even though I'm soft and little
yellow sponge cake on the outside
sweet, sweet in the middle
I'm a deep fried, deep fried hunk of trans fat and sugar
you hear me comin I ain't no singer
I'm a

chorus:
Twinkie
he's a twinkie
yeah i'm a twinkie in a ding dong world
i'm a twinkie
he's a twinkie
yeah I'm a twinkie in a ding dong world

you can't resist me
I know you see me
by the Dolly Magazine
I'm a Hostess with the mostest
come on Little Debbie you know I'm number one
I'm a sweet little goodie with a shot oh so long
go on put me in a box it's where i belong

chorus:
I'm a Twinkie
he's a twinkie
yeah i'm a twinkie in a ding dong world
a twinkie
he's a twinkie
yeah I'm a twinkie in a ding dong world

a twinkie
yeah i'm a twinkie in a ding dong world
a twinkie
a little twinkie
yeah I'm a twinkie in a ding dong world


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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:05 pm

LMAO
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:02 pm

I know we are focused on the AEG trial, but we need a laughter break every once in a while.


Homeschool family by Tim Hawkins:

Some people say we're goofy
Mysterious and spooky
Our neighbors think we're cooky
A homeschool family

We drive a white conversion
We learn about the Persians
Our six year-old's a surgeon
A homeschool family

We learn about Creation
And classic education
We're sponsoring a Haitian
A homeschool family

Meek
Unique
Geek

The parents are the tutors
We build our own computers
We never go to Hooters
A homeschool family

Have recess in the foyer
And then we read Tom Sawyer
Our nine year old's a lawyer
A homeschool family

We never leave our dwelling
Our children are excelling
They're champions at spelling
A homeschool family


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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:00 pm

thats cute...i'm homeschooled to all those who don't know! and i get straight A+'s i'm in a much better learning environment!!!! i would def recomend it!!!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:22 pm

ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ, glad u liked it! Lol!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:07 pm

Factoid - Wanna lose a pound of weight per week? Sniff a green (Granny Smith) apple and a green banana every 2 hours! lol

Heard on "The Chew" - so everyone asked - how are we supposed to not look silly doing this everyday? Answer? Make a banana apple necklace (wow-corny I know) drunken

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Capricious Anomaly on Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:31 pm

OK-I'm in! green apples and bananas sniffing - I'm off to the produce store lol



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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Tue Apr 09, 2013 7:06 pm

LOL!
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Raccoon walks across power lines on his rear two legs

Post by Admin on Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:29 am

This is hilarious!

U.S VIDEO: Raccoon walks across power lines on his rear two legs
Braving gusts of wind, he balances with his front paws on the upper cable — speeding up as he crosses, 15 feet off the ground, from one back yard to another.

By Lee Moran / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

April 10, 2013

Go to link for the YouTube
A daredevil raccoon stunned a family by tightrope walking across power lines on its two hind legs..

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:36 pm

Wow! what a coon!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:46 pm

lol u call them a coon too lol
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:02 pm

Aging Rock Stars!! (Like The Who and Eric Clampton)

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Re: Laughter thread

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