Laughter thread
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WeAreTheWorld.
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midangerous
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Laughter thread
First topic message reminder :
I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean:
First joke:
Silly Warnings put on products part 1
As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies
for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face
Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? If that's happening I'm quite shocked!
Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!
Part 2:
I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel
the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.
So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?
me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!
here's the second one: Never use while sleeping.
Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weather Reporters Joke
Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Search Engine
I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:
How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time?
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys?
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire?
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip???
It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:
Christmas vs Halloween
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably the silliest product ever invented:
Tooth Tunes
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Events I believe are Too Close Together
Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:
We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?
Rudolph poem for hunters:
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?
If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.
I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people!
(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)
(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean:
First joke:
Silly Warnings put on products part 1
As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies
for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face
Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? If that's happening I'm quite shocked!
Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!
Part 2:
I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel
the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.
So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?
me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!
here's the second one: Never use while sleeping.
Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weather Reporters Joke
Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Search Engine
I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:
How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time?
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys?
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire?
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip???
It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:
Christmas vs Halloween
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably the silliest product ever invented:
Tooth Tunes
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Events I believe are Too Close Together
Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:
We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?
Rudolph poem for hunters:
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?
If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.
I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people!
(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)
(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Last edited by midangerous on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:07 pm; edited 9 times in total
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
TY WATW!! I saw Wilson do "the uprights" when the SF Giants were executing an amazing play. The best is that he no longer is a Giant and now plays for the freaking (hate 'em) LA Dodgers!! LMAO - too funny - I bet he caught crap from the manager that night!
Admin- Admin
- Posts : 6072
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA
Re: Laughter thread
i'm not even into sports but LMAO!!!
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
I thought this would be funny lyrics to share since I work at walmart lol!
On a dark, country highway
Cool wind in your hair
Warm smell of a corn dog
Rising up through the air
You see a sign in the distance
that says, "We Are Open All Day"
And if you walk up to the entrance
that's where you'll here me say
I'm a greeter at a Wal-Mart in California!
Were my vest is blue
and my hair is too.
Lyrics from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
On a dark, country highway
Cool wind in your hair
Warm smell of a corn dog
Rising up through the air
You see a sign in the distance
that says, "We Are Open All Day"
And if you walk up to the entrance
that's where you'll here me say
I'm a greeter at a Wal-Mart in California!
Were my vest is blue
and my hair is too.
Lyrics from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
I love that Eagles song! Very funny midangerous!
Admin- Admin
- Posts : 6072
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA
Re: Laughter thread
Lol! Yeah accept I don't dye my hair blue I just paint my nails blue that's all, my vest is blue and my nails are too!
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
cool midangerous! its very funny i hope you enjoy ur job
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
Yep, today was a good day, I didn't do bad at all, the customers liked me.
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
I was riding my leased horse today in an indoor arena, and on the wall there's this Quater horse association banner with a list of all the chamion horse and riders, and I swear I thought I saw one of the horse's name called MJ Fred Astaire!
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
LOL thats funny to bad its not true
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
On my news today:
Here in SF one of the fog horns got stuck to the ON blow position and blew for over an hour from after 2am until after 3am lol (I sleep through anything so I didn't hear this). So people were calling in scared and freaked out that it was a type of emergency siren or something. The newscaster said more than a few called worried that it was an alien invasion! LMAO!!!
Only in SF folks - only in SF!!
Here in SF one of the fog horns got stuck to the ON blow position and blew for over an hour from after 2am until after 3am lol (I sleep through anything so I didn't hear this). So people were calling in scared and freaked out that it was a type of emergency siren or something. The newscaster said more than a few called worried that it was an alien invasion! LMAO!!!
Only in SF folks - only in SF!!
Admin- Admin
- Posts : 6072
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA
Re: Laughter thread
LMAO admin!! (i sleep through anything too, i slept thru an entire storm once or twice)
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
I've heard your foghorns before remember lol, not something to easily sleep through LMAO!
WeAreTheWorld.- Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 27
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
LOL!!!!
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
can i just ask, why did you have foghorns going off?
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
The Attack of the Giant Butterfly
Once when I was small, my family had taken us to visit a pastor's house. At times me and my sister had to use the rest room, and right up on the area where the shower curtain is, is a large life-like purple butterfly that looked very real. The freaky part about it to me was it looked bigger than me, and it had legs!!! Worst of all, it was located right above the toilet! I never tinkled so fast in my life. My older sister wouldn't help much since she would say at times to me she thought she saw the thing move to tease me.
Once when I was small, my family had taken us to visit a pastor's house. At times me and my sister had to use the rest room, and right up on the area where the shower curtain is, is a large life-like purple butterfly that looked very real. The freaky part about it to me was it looked bigger than me, and it had legs!!! Worst of all, it was located right above the toilet! I never tinkled so fast in my life. My older sister wouldn't help much since she would say at times to me she thought she saw the thing move to tease me.
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
See Honey Boo Boo and fam dressed as Kardashian clan
This one cracked me up!
See Honey Boo Boo and fam dressed as Kardashian clan
There have been more, uh, accurate approximations of the Kardashians during Halloweens past.
But none, perhaps, as terrify... — um, entertaining.
Here comes Honey Boo Boo and company, dressed in their leopard-print best as Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and a pre-breakup (we're guessing) Kris and Bruce Jenner.
Mama June and Honey Boo Boo swapped roles, with June going as daughter Kim and Alanna as Mama Kris. (Uncle Poodle competed with Mama June for Kim K. pouting rights.) Sugar Bear stepped into Bruce's '70s track suit, tube socks and sneakers.
Anna was Kourtney, Jessica was Khloe but best of all was Pumpkin, who donned a pink oxford shirt and draped yellow cardigan to impersonate Scott Disick.
"We decided to dress up like the Kardashians because everyone seems to compare our family to them," Mama June told People. "Now we're just the redneck version."
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
See Honey Boo Boo and fam dressed as Kardashian clan
There have been more, uh, accurate approximations of the Kardashians during Halloweens past.
But none, perhaps, as terrify... — um, entertaining.
Here comes Honey Boo Boo and company, dressed in their leopard-print best as Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and a pre-breakup (we're guessing) Kris and Bruce Jenner.
Mama June and Honey Boo Boo swapped roles, with June going as daughter Kim and Alanna as Mama Kris. (Uncle Poodle competed with Mama June for Kim K. pouting rights.) Sugar Bear stepped into Bruce's '70s track suit, tube socks and sneakers.
Anna was Kourtney, Jessica was Khloe but best of all was Pumpkin, who donned a pink oxford shirt and draped yellow cardigan to impersonate Scott Disick.
"We decided to dress up like the Kardashians because everyone seems to compare our family to them," Mama June told People. "Now we're just the redneck version."
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Admin- Admin
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Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA
Re: Laughter thread
OMG LMAO!!!!! that is the funniest thing i've EVER seen!!!
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
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WeAreTheWorld.- Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 27
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
LMAO WATW!! A little inside joke there-I get it lol
Admin- Admin
- Posts : 6072
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA
Re: Laughter thread
I hoped you would admin lol.
WeAreTheWorld.- Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 27
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
aww poor squirrel! LOL
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ- Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 25
Re: Laughter thread
LOL! Where I live there's lots of squirrels around, and they act as dumb as that one too!
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
I believe in protecting wildlife and the environment, but this is beyond ridiculous! Earth friendly gum??????
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midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
So I'm running around cleaning-laundry etc.. and I come on the site and post-turned the TV for the 1st time to Queen Latifah's talk show and who's on? Taye Diggs! He told a story about his little 4 year old son 'Walker' who he said still sleeps with he and his wife. Taye said the little guy usually wakes up at 7am but a couple night ago-he awakened at 5am and declared: "No - No! Michael Jackson does his arms like this" lol - Taye said his little boy is obsessed with MJ and Thriller ever since Halloween and is dancing the moves all day around the house. SO cute!!
Admin- Admin
- Posts : 6072
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA
Re: Laughter thread
aaw cute!
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
Re: Laughter thread
I've been hearing this song playing ov er and over while I'm working at Wal Mart and it's driving me up the wall!!!!!
midangerous- Posts : 3098
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 34
Location : United States
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