MJ's L.O.V.E. Is Magical

Laughter thread

Page 9 of 11 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 8, 9, 10, 11  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:13 pm

First topic message reminder :

I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean: Laughing

First joke:

Silly Warnings put on products part 1

As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies

for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face

Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? Shocked If that's happening I'm quite shocked!

Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!

Part 2:

I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel

the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.

So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?

me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!

here's the second one: Never use while sleeping. Sleep

Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face. Suspect





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weather Reporters Joke


Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! Shocked and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Search Engine

I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:

How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time? confused confused confused
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys? confused confused confused confused
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire? confused confused confused
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip??? confused confused confused cat

It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:

Christmas santa vs Halloween

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably the silliest product ever invented:

Tooth Tunes
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rendeer Two Events I believe are Too Close Together

Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:

We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?

Rudolph poem for hunters:

Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?

If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.

I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people! santa


(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)

(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]




Last edited by midangerous on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:07 pm; edited 9 times in total
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down


Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:49 pm

SF Giants fans will get this pix lol:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
avatar
WeAreTheWorld.

Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 20
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:52 pm

TY WATW!! I saw Wilson do "the uprights" when the SF Giants were executing an amazing play. The best is that he no longer is a Giant and now plays for the freaking (hate 'em) LA Dodgers!! LMAO - too funny - I bet he caught crap from the manager that night!

_________________
Michael Jackson transcended our imaginations and continues to uplift our souls and spirits through his tremendously meaningful life well lived.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 6059
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:59 pm

i'm not even into sports but LMAO!!!
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:06 pm

I thought this would be funny lyrics to share since I work at walmart lol!

On a dark, country highway
Cool wind in your hair
Warm smell of a corn dog
Rising up through the air

You see a sign in the distance
that says, "We Are Open All Day"
And if you walk up to the entrance
that's where you'll here me say

I'm a greeter at a Wal-Mart in California!
Were my vest is blue
and my hair is too.
Lyrics from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:37 pm

I love that Eagles song! Very funny midangerous! Wink

_________________
Michael Jackson transcended our imaginations and continues to uplift our souls and spirits through his tremendously meaningful life well lived.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 6059
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Sep 29, 2013 12:04 am

Lol! Yeah accept I don't dye my hair blue I just paint my nails blue that's all, my vest is blue and my nails are too!
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sun Sep 29, 2013 4:05 pm

cool midangerous! its very funny Smile i hope you enjoy ur job Smile
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Sep 29, 2013 4:08 pm

Yep, today was a good day, I didn't do bad at all, the customers liked me.
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sun Sep 29, 2013 4:31 pm

thats great!
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Oct 17, 2013 8:07 pm

I was riding my leased horse today in an indoor arena, and on the wall there's this Quater horse association banner with a list of all the chamion horse and riders, and I swear I thought I saw one of the horse's name called MJ Fred Astaire!
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:38 pm

LOL thats funny Smile to bad its not true Wink
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Oct 18, 2013 5:09 pm

On my news today:

Here in SF one of the fog horns got stuck to the ON blow position and blew for over an hour from after 2am until after 3am lol (I sleep through anything so I didn't hear this). So people were calling in scared and freaked out that it was a type of emergency siren or something. The newscaster said more than a few called worried that it was an alien invasion! LMAO!!!

Only in SF folks - only in SF!!


_________________
Michael Jackson transcended our imaginations and continues to uplift our souls and spirits through his tremendously meaningful life well lived.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 6059
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Oct 18, 2013 5:41 pm

LMAO admin!! (i sleep through anything too, i slept thru an entire storm once or twice)
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:15 pm

I've heard your foghorns before remember lol, not something to easily sleep through LMAO!
avatar
WeAreTheWorld.

Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 20
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:16 pm

LOL!!!!
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:25 pm

can i just ask, why did you have foghorns going off?
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Oct 31, 2013 1:04 am

The Attack of the Giant Butterfly

Once when I was small, my family had taken us to visit a pastor's house. At times me and my sister had to use the rest room, and right up on the area where the shower curtain is, is a large life-like purple butterfly that looked very real. The freaky part about it to me was it looked bigger than me, and it had legs!!! Worst of all, it was located right above the toilet! I never tinkled so fast in my life. My older sister wouldn't help much since she would say at times to me she thought she saw the thing move to tease me.
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

See Honey Boo Boo and fam dressed as Kardashian clan

Post by Admin on Sun Nov 03, 2013 3:16 pm

This one cracked me up!

See Honey Boo Boo and fam dressed as Kardashian clan

There have been more, uh, accurate approximations of the Kardashians during Halloweens past.

But none, perhaps, as terrify... — um, entertaining.

Here comes Honey Boo Boo and company, dressed in their leopard-print best as Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and a pre-breakup (we're guessing) Kris and Bruce Jenner.

Mama June and Honey Boo Boo swapped roles, with June going as daughter Kim and Alanna as Mama Kris. (Uncle Poodle competed with Mama June for Kim K. pouting rights.) Sugar Bear stepped into Bruce's '70s track suit, tube socks and sneakers.

Anna was Kourtney, Jessica was Khloe but best of all was Pumpkin, who donned a pink oxford shirt and draped yellow cardigan to impersonate Scott Disick.

"We decided to dress up like the Kardashians because everyone seems to compare our family to them," Mama June told People. "Now we're just the redneck version."

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]




[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]



_________________
Michael Jackson transcended our imaginations and continues to uplift our souls and spirits through his tremendously meaningful life well lived.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 6059
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:28 pm

OMG LMAO!!!!! that is the funniest thing i've EVER seen!!!
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:16 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
avatar
WeAreTheWorld.

Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 20
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:18 pm

LMAO WATW!! A little inside joke there-I get it lol

_________________
Michael Jackson transcended our imaginations and continues to uplift our souls and spirits through his tremendously meaningful life well lived.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 6059
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:18 pm

I hoped you would admin lol.
avatar
WeAreTheWorld.

Posts : 1967
Join date : 2012-07-22
Age : 20
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:57 pm

aww poor squirrel! LOL
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:58 pm

LOL! Where I live there's lots of squirrels around, and they act as dumb as that one too!
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:04 am

I believe in protecting wildlife and the environment, but this is beyond ridiculous! Earth friendly gum??????

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:06 am

Seriously?? Do we really need this??

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Nov 15, 2013 5:14 pm

So I'm running around cleaning-laundry etc.. and I come on the site and post-turned the TV for the 1st time to Queen Latifah's talk show and who's on? Taye Diggs! He told a story about his little 4 year old son 'Walker' who he said still sleeps with he and his wife. Taye said the little guy usually wakes up at 7am but a couple night ago-he awakened at 5am and declared: "No - No! Michael Jackson does his arms like this" lol - Taye said his little boy is obsessed with MJ and Thriller ever since Halloween and is dancing the moves all day around the house. SO cute!!

_________________
Michael Jackson transcended our imaginations and continues to uplift our souls and spirits through his tremendously meaningful life well lived.
avatar
Admin
Admin

Posts : 6059
Join date : 2012-07-22
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:09 pm

aaw cute!
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:24 pm

awwwww
avatar
ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ

Posts : 2354
Join date : 2013-02-11
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:04 am

I've been hearing this song playing ov er and over while I'm working at Wal Mart and it's driving me up the wall!!!!!


[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
avatar
midangerous

Posts : 3090
Join date : 2012-07-23
Age : 28
Location : United States

Back to top Go down

Re: Laughter thread

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 9 of 11 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 8, 9, 10, 11  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum