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Laughter thread

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Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Aug 19, 2012 7:13 pm

First topic message reminder :

I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean: Laughing

First joke:

Silly Warnings put on products part 1

As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies

for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face

Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? Shocked If that's happening I'm quite shocked!

Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!

Part 2:

I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel

the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.

So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?

me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!

here's the second one: Never use while sleeping. Sleep

Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face. Suspect





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Weather Reporters Joke


Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! Shocked and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Search Engine

I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:

How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time? confused confused confused
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys? confused confused confused confused
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire? confused confused confused
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip??? confused confused confused cat

It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:

Christmas santa vs Halloween

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably the silliest product ever invented:

Tooth Tunes
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It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rendeer Two Events I believe are Too Close Together

Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:

We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?

Rudolph poem for hunters:

Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?

If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.

I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people! santa


(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)

(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)

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Last edited by midangerous on Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:07 pm; edited 9 times in total
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:14 am

LOL! Yep, that was my life of early bike training.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:29 am

Aww midangerous what a cute bike story- here's mine lol:

My grandfather tried to teach me how to ride a bike the same way he taught his son- letting him go down a slight incline by himself (apparently it worked and he is an avid biker now lol). Me being a klutz to begin with especially at that age didn't know what to do or how to balance (to this day this happens with walking too lmao) and I of course fell. To this day I still can't ride a daggonit bike- but I can skateboard, ice skate, and ride any sorta roller skate with ease so I guess that makes up for it cheers
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:19 am

Lol! Funny WATW! Yeah, that's good that u can skate, that does make up for the bike balance malfunction.


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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:19 am

MJ would have loved this:

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Wed Jan 30, 2013 6:56 pm

My phone did something really stupid just now.

So I was texting my mom things that I needed from the store since she said she was going. I sent a text sayin yeah we need more OJ and bananas and I need shampoo blablabla. Then I remembered the store she was going to has this really good cooked chicken that's always 1/2 price this time of day. So I intended to send 'OH and can you please pick up the cooked chicken' and my stupid iphone auto correct made it say 'OH and can you please pick up the cooked hickey' LMAO. I don't know why my phone does these weird autocorrecting things but it sure was embarrassing.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:35 pm

LOL WATW!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:43 pm

Wow WATW!! That is freaking hilarious! That auto correct seems to have a mind of it's own doesn't it? "cooked hickey" - that is wild-so did your mom bring that home for dinner? How is it? lol sunny

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:45 pm

tastes like chicken
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Wed Jan 30, 2013 7:48 pm

OK lol

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Sun Feb 03, 2013 4:29 am

Perfect for football Sunday!

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:12 pm

Horse who knows how to make a jail break!

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:26 pm

LMAO, LMAO the one with the cat and catnip was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!! i about died lmao
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:57 pm

LOL! Glad u liked it. Razz
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:32 am

Frizzy hair Daaay!!! Mad

I have lots of trouble with my hair getting real frizzy, I've tried different products in my hair, not much change. Now I'm using a product that smells like I'm putting Wal Mart produce in my hair. LOL! It seems to help... Somewhat.

Rolling Eyes
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:07 pm

LMAO i have super frizzy curly auburn hair all i do to it is straighten it i go thru straightners like CRAZY!!!!!!!!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:22 pm

LOL! My hair is really curly too. I have special cream that supposed to tame the curls, and I also straighten my hair too.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:32 pm

Hey Ladies, we know we LOVE chocolate, so why not get some chocolate chap stick from Amazon:

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by WeAreTheWorld. on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:38 pm

LOL that's so funny! I don't know about chocolate flavored chapstick- but one year I got Dr.Pepper flavored chapstick in my stocking- best stuff ever Wink

I couldn't find a pix of the DP one- but this is what it looked like except it said dr. pep of course. How cute is this? lol



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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:38 pm

ooh chocolate yummy lol

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:58 pm

You guys are a hoot! Those mini bottles are funny too Razz


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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:28 pm

when i was little i would get chap stick of really cool flavas (strawberry etc.) and but the next month i would have eaten the ENTIRE thing!!!!!!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:22 pm

LOL! I would have too, and I had no idea they made Dr. Pepper chap stick.
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:05 pm

Dr. Pepper is made from prunes lol

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:09 pm

wait what?!?! no wonder...oh wait nevermind!!!! Embarassed Laughing
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:05 am

Funny "scent" facts:

What are boys and girls favorite scents to enjoy the opposite gender to wear?

boys:
girls should smell like: pumpkin pies or lavendar

girls:
boys should smell like: banana nut bread

lol - just heard on tv by a "specialist" in these matters (ooh lala)





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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Wed Feb 27, 2013 3:58 pm

he he funny admin!!!!
whenever my phone rings and i'm still sleeping i'll have a dream about it ringing b4 it really starts ringing omg its the craziest thing ever!!!!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Wed Feb 27, 2013 5:17 pm

LOL!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ on Wed Feb 27, 2013 5:42 pm

ikr!!!!!
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Re: Laughter thread

Post by midangerous on Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:49 am

There's just too much seriousness in the world so I'd like to share this funny mental health hotline I found:

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Re: Laughter thread

Post by Admin on Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:23 pm

New car has pedestrian airbag-see pix-in a newspaper they had a caption which was in a conversation bubble right next to the car - up by the windshield where the airbag deploys which stated: "The pedestrian goes here" (to the right side of the bag)
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The photo provided by Volvo on March 6, 2013, shows an inflated pedestrian airbag on the new Volvo V40. / AP Photo/Volvo

So it seems that the walking person that gets hit by this car better not actually get "hit" by the front of the car but before impact had better jump way up confused to make it safely to the cushy airbag way up over the hood of the car. smh Rolling Eyes



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Re: Laughter thread

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