Laughter thread

I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean:

First joke:

Silly Warnings put on products part 1

As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies

for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face

Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? If that's happening I'm quite shocked!

Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!

Part 2:

I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel

the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.

So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?

me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!

here's the second one: Never use while sleeping.

Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weather Reporters Joke


Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Search Engine

I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:

How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time?
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys?
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire?
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip???

It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:

Christmas vs Halloween

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is probably the silliest product ever invented:

Tooth Tunes
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Events I believe are Too Close Together

Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:

We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?

Rudolph poem for hunters:

Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?

If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.

I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people!


(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)

(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

part 2 will be coming! No NO spraying can in face!

OMG I know - I cannot believe the packaging some products have - here is one:

I was at a Walgreen's looking at the weekly ad circular and saw they had Woolite spray on carpet cleaner for an amazing 1/2 off the crazy 9 buck price. I have a lot of carpeting in my house and spot clean in between hauling out the steam cleaner every few months. So anyway I go to the shelf and there are 2 people buying the same thing. I see they took the last regular Woolite cleaner leaving only the stronger formula for Pets. I am fine with it as I know it is a better product really for the same price. I don't know why but this lady was freaking out when she saw only the pet cleaner variety was left. She was in line and reading to the manager this label and every other word said SEE THATS NOT WHAT I NEED!THAT SAYS PET! I NEED IT FOR CARPET!

It then dawned on me that this lady was so misreading this labeling, she actually thought it was for cleaning PETS THAT HAVE CARPETING! Right hand straight up! I busted up laughing and felt bad because soon after this woman was crying and had to be taken to sit down! wow labels what a destructive force.

Ok- on a bottle of fabuloso OXY- it clearly states MADE FROM HYDROGEN PEROXIDE- yet they feel the need to put in ugly capped chartreuse hi lighted letters DO NOT DRINK


WOW...

as if you could even get past the smell of that stuff to get it into your mouth

OMGosh those are funny stories LOL!

Capricious, I would feel sorry for that lady too!

Bring it on Capricious! LOL!

I remember one time, I heard someone say that when they looked at their car battery, it says on it DO NOT DRINK BATTERY ACID. Like someone's going to be thirsty enough to get a straw after popping the hood on their vehicle.

You should share that sometime Admin!

Good Mornin everyone! Happy Labor Day!

I'd like to share a crazy video of Mozart being played on the phone:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Life is full of the darnest things!

Whoa! I hadn't heard-you OK? Not in the path or anything are you?
Be safe midangerous!

It might not hit landfall. Don't know yet.

LOL! Yeah, I played with that! Live Long and Prosperous!

Ladies, Attention! We speak in code:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

@midangerous I just saw and read your weatherperson joke- so funny LOL

I have something that I think you guys will crack up at. Today I received a text message on my phone from a Utah area code # and the text said:

Nikki, do you still have the monkey and horse costumes?

LMAO

WATW, sounds like the wrong number huh? I get those all the time, lol!