I swear I was fine and dandy 20 minutes ago but now not so much

I swear I was fine just 20 minutes ago, I was looking at various MJ you tube's, smiling, I played Fly Away before leaving for work this work this morning. I was good. I was in a good place. I was Michaelling on other sites and twittering to beat the band. But, now at this moment, my heart is very heavy. Thank goodness my desk faces a wall, which at other times, I've hated because I cannot see people approach me. But right now, I am glad that my face and back are turned away from anyone passing by, I sit at my desk, unfocused and crying, I miss Michael so much. A very dear friend of mine is hurting today as well, I tried to comfort her, but now I'm sad. I cannot believe three years almost four years have passed by, and this talented and beautiful and kind and loving, charitable, and gracefull man that is Michael Jackson is gone --here one day gone one night. Like the sunset on a cloudy afternoon, Dearest Michael Gone Too Soon.

I love you Michael, love you family, sorry, had to get it out of my heart, it feels like it's about to burst. I HATE when this stuff happens to me - it hurts allot.

Dearest L: I am so sorry you are hurting this way today. I often feel the same and when that happens I share with others when possible as you are doing here and that does help to release it that way.

I know you are at work and you can't just get up and leave which makes it very hard-you can't just go tear out of the house and go for a fast walk like I do sometimes or throw the loudest MJ fastest dancing vids or songs on and wail the tears out until they turn into laughter again.

Just always remember you have your MJ fanmily always to hold your hand and YANA honey!

Thank you! I'm going out to take a walk - it's lunchtime. i don't know where or why all this came on me - all of a sudden like that. I just googled the lyrics to Fly Away. and instead a site came up with all these gorgeous pictures of Michael?? wth?? and of course what do i see first, a painting called Stairway to Neverland. It's Michael walking up the stairs to heaven. Now I'm really over the edge. I want to go home and lay down and be by myself. But I'm going outside to pull myself together and finish my day. Good grief charlie brown, why michael???

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL. RIP

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(hugs)