Laughter thread

[midangerous]

First topic message reminder :

I've decided to make a thread just for laughing! I'm writing some jokes out, and you guys can write some too as long a s they stay clean:

First joke:

Silly Warnings put on products part 1

As an American, I live in one of the most intelligent countries in the world, but people put silly DO NOT warnings on products like we're dummies

for example, I've seen a warning on the back of a bug poison can saying in bold letter: Do Not point this can in face

Is anyone struggling with that here? We have a bunch of people across the country daring on bugs to cross their face and SPRAY!? If that's happening I'm quite shocked!

Tune in later for part 2 of this odd topic!

Part 2:

I have a hair straightener, and it says 2 strange Do Nots, in the instruction manuel

the first one is this: If you cannot plug in your straightener, reverse the plug,(DUH!) if you still cannot plug it in please call a qualified electrician.

So if I can't plug it in, I have to call some stranger to my house to figure this out?

me: I need you to come to my house.
electrician: What seems to be the problem?
me: I can't plug in my hair straightener!
electrician: CLICK!

here's the second one: Never use while sleeping.

Yeah, go to bed with your HOT hair straightener cause you're too tired! The next day people will be asking how you got that burn spot on the side of your face.





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Weather Reporters Joke


Since it's hurricane season, I thought I'd like to share a few jokes about weather reporters, yes, they let us know when weather gets real bad, but they take it to a level where they shouldn't be around the BAD weather area to report about how BAD it is. I turned the TV on once, and there's about 3 CNN weather reporters hanging on to each other trying to let us know how bad the hurricane is. One was hanging on to a rail, the second one was hanging on to the other guy's leg, and the third man was nearly getting blown away and hanging on to the second guy's legs! and they are saying something like this: "Whoever's riding this storm out is crazy!" I'm thinking: Aren't you the crazy ones now guys? We can see how nasty the weather is without the reporters telling us that!


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Google Search Engine

I'd like to share that I'm probably the weirdest person on the planet. Why do I think so? well, I've got questions that I believe more normal people do not have. That's why I believe Google was invented for me. God bless whoever invented Google search engine! You can ask any question to google u have and it will give u the best answer.
Here are some of the ones I got:

How come places like Arizona don't go to Daylight Savings Time?
How come showing your underwear has become such a popular fashion for guys?
Why do people who sing country sound like farm animals and dance like their foot's on fire?
How do u know when cranberry sauce has gone bad?
and finally:
Why does my cat go around the room like a balloon with the air going out of it when I give her catnip???

It's Google's 14th birthday by the way, so happy birthday google!


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I thought everyone could enjoy this funny guy talk about a silly combination:

Christmas vs Halloween

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This is probably the silliest product ever invented:

Tooth Tunes
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It's a toothbrush the plays tunes while brushing. I think I'd be insane if I wanted my toothbrush to sing to me.



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Two Events I believe are Too Close Together

Living in backwoods, every year, we have an event called dear hunting season, and then right after we have hunting, we have the Christmas season. I'm the type that doesn't really like hunting, so it ruins a lot of Christmas songs for me. For instance, this is what I'd be singing:

We've hunted Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, Cupid, Comet and Vixen, but do you recall? The easiest target of all?

Rudolph poem for hunters:

Rudolph with your nose so bright,
That thing is like laser sight!
Won't you guide my aim tonight?

If you want to hunt reindeer this season(I don't recommend doing it though!)I think you would probably have to get up on the roof of your house, and hide behind a fake chimney. Also, make some reindeer calls too.

I now know why Santa wears red he doesn't want to get shot by these people!


(Note: If you want Santa to give you presents, behave yourself and do not hunt his reindeer!)

(Note2: No reindeer were harmed in the making of this joke.)

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[ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ]

I read he got diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease and I have a feeling that pushed him over the edge

[midangerous]

 yeah.

[midangerous]

Kids are spoiled by technology today

Young kids today are spoiled rotten by the electronic toys, like iPad, iPod, tablets. The thing that really gets me is seeing kids complain at the store that a certain device only plays one movie at a time, I wanted to set that kid aside and make them feel a little more thankful. When I was growing up there was no Netflix streaming, I had an evil device called: video tape player!! This device is probably one of the stupidest inventions in the history of human civilization! The reason why it's so terrible is because you don't realize that it's broken until it eats one of the videos you put in it. For those who don't understand a video tape player eating a video let me explain, you basically put the video in the machine and you never see it again for as long as you live. You can keep pushing the Eject button but it will never come out.

Thank God for dads though, my dad was able to get one of my favourite movies that the player are out how he did it, it's a mystery to this day. He took it out and fixed the video, but I can say one thing, when I watched it, Shirley Temple never sang and danced the same way again since video now had a flaw in it. The Good Ship, Lollipop sank beneath the ocean! Thanks to the evil video tape player!! And I could not go download the movie because there was NO download capability!

[ijustcan'tstoplovinguMJ]

Mi, if I could give this a 'thanks' I would! This is right on spot! What's bad is the fact that all the technology has made kids unable to communicate properly with one another, especially with parents. They always have their nose in some electronic device. SMH.
Sorry to hear about your tape though, I remember playing VHS tapes when I was little. Same with cassette tapes. I grew up on those.
I sometimes wish I would have been born earlier, things seemed so much simpler. It intrigues me.

[midangerous]

That's ok, thank goodness for Netflix, Netflix saved my life!!! Lol!

[midangerous]

By the way to add to the old fashioned tape player before we even had a computer that worked we had a thing called typewriter! Now I heard typewriters are making a comeback.

[midangerous]

Yay for typewriters!! Lol!

[midangerous]

Hilarious act:

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